Blind Men and the Elephant – A Poem by John Godfrey Saxe
(1816-1887)

It was six men of Indostan,
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

The First approach’d the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
“God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!”

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, -“Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me ’tis mighty clear,
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!”

The Third approach’d the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
“I see,” -quoth he- “the Elephant
Is very like a snake!”

The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee:
“What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain,” -quoth he,-
“‘Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!”

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said- “E’en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!”

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Then, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
“I see,” -quoth he,- “the Elephant
Is very like a rope!”

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

MORAL,

So, oft in theologic wars
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean;
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!

Knowing that, you will understand why I think some races, especially the blacks have gotten a rotten deal here in the U.S. If you’ll recall your history, the blacks were brought here from Africa as slaves.  They didn’t want to be here! Thanks to Lincoln, they are a mainstream of our society now. But, they certainly are not treated that way! I get very aggravated when I see racial issues on the news. People, it should not even BE an issue today It’s been over 150 years!  Get over it!

Most of you know I am an old Caucasian lady.  You have to know that so the piece I wrote and copied here will make sense.  I wrote this piece when I lost a dear friend. He was killed by a car at night while pushing his grocery cart down a city street. (I learned his name later.)  Here’s the story I wrote afterwards:

I Love You, Stranger

This story is not about me.  It’s about regret.

It started two years ago.  Driving home from work one day, a certain panhandler caught my eye.  There was something striking and appealing about him.  He was tall, thin and black with incredibly long dread locks. The camo jacket, crude wooden cane and backpack made him look more like a hippie than a homeless person. I guessed his age to be in his 50s or 60s.

Luckily, a red light gave me the opportunity to pull a dollar out of my panhandler stash, roll down the car window and hold out the money. His long boney fingers wrapped around my hand as he took the bill.  He said nothing and averted his eyes. The warmth of his hand and the gentleness of his touch were very comforting. It was the most odd, incredible moment of my life.

Over the next couple of years I would see him a few times a month. He soon recognized me and we quickly became friends. Our meetings were brief, however. A signal light does not provide much time for conversation.  Still, we had a connection even though we never exchanged names.  He called me “Sister,” and it thrilled me. A few times he even fist-bumped me. He was always respectful and kind. I felt like a beloved family member.

A few of our encounters were memorable.  One winter he was standing on the corner in about two inches of snow.  His feet had to be cold, as he was not wearing adequate shoes. My heart broke for him and I’m sure my few bucks did nothing to improve his life!

At times I wouldn’t see him for weeks. Once, I didn’t see him for a couple of months and I thought he had moved on.  When he finally showed, he told me he had been in the hospital for pneumonia. Another time when he finally appeared at the corner, he was leaning on his cane.  He said a car hit him and the driver was a member of the KKK. We didn’t discuss it further so I didn’t know if the driver told him that info or if my friend was schizophrenic. It didn’t matter.  He was okay and back at his old spot. I was delighted!

For some reason, I didn’t believe he was homeless.  I pictured him living in a small, dilapidated over-crowded house–a house with inadequate insulation, peeling paint, etc. I did not think he was suffering from an addiction, either; but I did believe he needed money.

Recently the weather turned bitter cold. It was before Christmas and I saw my friend standing in the frigid weather. Being in a seasonally jolly mood, I gave him a more generous donation than usual and told him to go home. Stupid thing to tell a homeless person!

Once I retired from my job, I no longer drove past my friend’s spot.  It was weeks before I saw him again.  When I did, we didn’t have the luxury of a red light.  So, I pulled into a parking lot behind him, got out of the car and walked over to him. I wanted to tell him why he hadn’t seen me.  I don’t know if he cared, but I didn’t want him to think I had been ignoring him.  As luck would have it, I soon moved into a neighborhood not far from my friend’s spot.  I was glad to see him again.

Things continued as usual until this fall. My friend surprised me by asking if I wanted to share a meal with him.  I told him I couldn’t because it would make my boyfriend jealous, but that was not the reason. Truthfully, I was a little afraid of him—after all, he was still a stranger, much bigger than I and possibly mentally unstable. His suggestion continued to tempt me, though.  There was a restaurant very close and it would be easy to walk over, share a meal and visit. I wanted to know his name, his origin… everything. Who was this man?

But, I procrastinated.

Last week the local TV news aired a feature about a homeless man who was struck by a drunk driver and killed. The broadcast gave the man’s name but nothing else.  I prayfully thought, “Please don’t let this be my friend.”  I was anxious, though, because the news showed an image of the victim’s grocery cart located in an area near me. Recently my friend had acquired a grocery cart.  I thought it was just a prop.  You know; some panhandlers use dogs, wheelchairs or other items. I still had this crazy notion that he had a home. I finally told myself my imagination was getting the best of me and dismissed the dreadful thought…until yesterday.

Yesterday I passed the sight of two, stacked, milk cartons and some cheap plastic roses. It was one of those makeshift memorials people set up when someone has died from a traffic accident. OMG! My stomach churned as I realized it was my friend’s corner! I tried to calm myself with logic.  After all, I really did not know who had been the victim. However, I couldn’t dismiss the horrendous thought.

This morning I drove by the memorial. My eyes moistened as big teardrops ran down my cheeks. Waiting for an answer was not the solution. Maybe the convenience store clerk nearby could help me put a name to the face. I was terrified to ask; fearful I already knew the answer. But, I forged through my fear and asked the clerk if he could describe the man who died.  He could and he did.

An old friend and I were talking last night about regret. We were talking about the conventional wisdom concerning dying individuals.  It is said that dying people do not regret what they have done, but rather what they haven’t done.

Regrets.  Do I have any? Yes is a monumental understatement.  I will never forgive myself for procrastinating. I threw away the change to show a little compassion and kindness…and, more importantly, the opportunity to get to know an amazing person.

Goodbye, Arlee.  I will never forget you.

© 2017 Diane Blanks

IN MEMORY OF ARLEE WILLIAMSON, JR.

I really value my girlfriends. Well, I value friends in general. It’s just I have many more female friends than male friends. I only have a few close male friends: Doug, Dave & Bill.

The weird thing to me is how men and women do friendship differently. Women bond by just talking.  Men, ah, well…I’m not sure.  I guess they bond by doing things together like watching/participating in sports, drinking, etc.  Men don’t like to discuss relationships. Women love it!  While we’re on the subject of gender differences, I have a theory.  (If you stick with me, you’ll learn I have a ton of theories.)

Ever notice women can sit around and stare at a playing toddler with total fascination? Men, on the other hand, could care less.  Also, men are super interested in eating; whereas, most women’s interest in food is luke warm.

My theory is that men are attached to eating because in the cave days they had to supply the food for the family.  Women, on the other hand, had to give birth, nurture and raise children.  So don’t get too upset if your man doesn’t want to hold your new nephew,…or hands it back to you like a hot potato. It’s in his genes. Also, give him a break if he doesn’t listen to your office gossip.

Years ago when I was married to a football fan (before I was one), I learned a valuable lesson.  My spouse was really into watching his team play on TV and I told him I would only talk to him during the commercials.  So, to make sure he didn’t miss any of my gems, I made a list of all the things I wanted to tell him.  After I finished the list, I read it and burst out laughing.  “Hell, no wonder you don’t listen to me.  This shit is boring! ”